South Africa 2010, T-Shirts, Bureaucracy and Cheese (and crackers).

Walking back from the visa office this morning, I realised that the only other time I've lived outside the UK, in Belgium, was just after a major sporting event too. Euro 2000, I remember being concerned that this was going to make me very unpopular when I got there.
I guess by using the same logic I should assume that Chinese people see me as a successful Olympian/Paralympian.
Anyway, this makes me curious to know which major sporting event I'm going to miss by weeks in my next country of residence...

I meant to talk about this at the time; when I was in Suzhou I saw a girl sporting this confusing T-Shirt:
The layout was exactly like this and I spent a while trying to figure out who or where Botu Linum was. It didn't look like pinyin or Wade-Giles but that didn't stop me trying it out in a few different tones, saying it in my head.

A couple of moments later I had a revelation when I realised it said I heart Botulinum. According to Wikipedia, one of the world's most poisinous naturally occurring toxins. More commonly sold as Botox. Obviously a T-Shirt saying I heart Botux is still a bit curious, especially on someone younger. It just so happens that this ever-so-slight mistranslation rendered the thing hilarious.
Walking around the city you see hundreds of T-shirts written in curious English, some amusing, some just baffling.
I wonder if Chinese people encounter the same thing when they see Europeans on holiday, walking round with their tops off sporting Chinese symbol tattoos. I'll try and find out from my students.

So this morning should represent my last encounter with bureaucracy for a while.
A small selection of the documents I currently have:
These acknowledge various things;
I do not have AIDS, syphilis or any other communicable diseases, they didn't take my word for this you understand I had to give blood, have an ECG, an eye test and cough whilst being cupped, etc.
I am the only living human capable of doing my job.
I have registered with the Police.
I am a foreign expert.

Actually that last one is quite satisfying, I have a passport-like document with stamps and embossments which identifies me as a bona-fide foreign expert. It makes me an officious, authoritarian gimp to enjoy owning this doesn't it?

Although slightly arduous, I have to say all of the bureaucracy has been very efficient thus far. And I don't think a country now exists that doesn't have fairly tight border controls. Something we should appreciate more in the 'borderless' EU perhaps. (Propagandising over)

Before I finish I could do with a some suggestions. Mike is probably best placed for this, but anyone should feel free to chip in with good advice.
Cheese is expensive here.
What else goes well with crackers?
The mid-morning snack is a difficult hole to fill and I fear baozi everyday, whilst delicious would simply hasten rotunditude. EDIT, not Baozi at all, I have in fact been eating Roujiamou made fresh at a stall near the apartment.

Finally, a couple of observations:
1. Has there ever been a more Guardian article than this?
Try and find a box it doesn't tick. It's even written by a Libby other than Purves for God's sake.
2. This site is always good for a bit of procrastination.
The question is, is it genuine?
And will I ever learn enough Mandarin to establish a Beijing sister site.

OK, I'm off to try and find a second-hand electricals market on Lady's Street to scope out a mobile for Caroline. Then this afternoon another instalment (hopefully the last) of apartment hunting. Victoria Gardens could be the new home.